


teach me how to say goodbye

by writerforlife



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerforlife/pseuds/writerforlife
Summary: Thanks to the Infinity Stones, Tony gets to say goodbye to his friends and family before passing on to the afterlife.





	teach me how to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is just me being emotional that Tony died. I cried... a lot after the movie, so here's to getting closure and processing my feelings.

Tony opened his eyes.

Water pooled around his bare feet. As far as he could see, water rippled toward a golden-orange horizon. He raised his hands in front of him. Whole. Unscarred. He touched his chest, feeling the solidity of the arc reactor but none of the pain. Nothing ached, in fact. Strange. Since 2008, he’d always been in pain somehow. 

“What the…” Tony squinted as light swelled before him. 

“Hello, Stark.”

A man appeared before him, his hands folded behind his back, suit immaculate, and rimmed glasses glinting in the brightness. 

“Yinsen?” 

“Is that his name?” Yinsen—or maybe not Yinsen—studied his own hands. “I take the form of someone who you admire very much. Why him?”

“He told me not to waste my life once,” Tony whispered. “It had a big impact.”

Yinsen smiled. “And I dare say you didn’t. Look at all you created. Look at all that will live on because of what you did. The universe owes you a great debt.”

Tony closed his eyes.  _ A great debt.  _ That was the lack of weight in his chest. Everything he owed the world, he’d repaid. He done it. He’d freed the world from Thanos. He would never regret his choice. Never. Thinking of Pepper, of Peter, of  _ Morgan,  _ though… that hurt. He’d put on the gauntlet knowing everything he was giving up, but also all they were gaining. 

“How would you like one more second chance?” Yinsen asked.

Tony swallowed hard. “Haven’t I had my fair share?”

“You would have one more. Not a second chance at living, I’m afraid, but a chance to say goodbye to those you love. Properly.” 

“How?”

“You will be where you need to be, when you need to be there, in some form, because of the universe’s gratitude. Is that explanation enough?”

“Excuse my doubt, but I’ve seen enough fuckery in my years to know—”

“This is no trick.” Yinsen’s eyes were gentle. “They need you once more, Stark. You can move on as is, or you can return to them, if only for a moment.”

“And then I’ll come here?”

“You will come here, and you will rest.” 

Tony exhaled, dread and anticipation swirling within him. “Let’s do it then.”

His vision exploded into blinding white. 

He fell.

 

#

 

Tony woke in a car.

“Whoa,” he said.

He nearly pitched through the windshield as the driver slammed on the brakes. Tony fell—floated?—back onto the seat and glanced to his left to see Happy staring at him.

“Come on, now, Happy,” Tony said. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“What the actual  _ fuck _ ?” Happy spat, wrenching the wheel to the side to pull to the side o the road. “What the fuck? Tony?” 

“Hello, hello.” Tony smiled. “Popping in to say goodbye. Some Infinity Stones magic.”

“Jesus  _ fuck _ .” Happy leaned across the center console and wrapped his arms around Tony. Surprisingly, he didn’t fall through. Huh. A corporeal form—how about that? “Okay. Well how do you… feel?”

“Not dead, surprisingly. Just a little… transparent?” 

Happy laughed, but the sound dissolved into a sob. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, turning to look at Tony. “I wasn’t there, and look what you got yourself into.” 

“I told you I would’ve made you a suit.”

“Nah, that’s not me. I was always better at the ground-based stuff. I remember you back in the day.” Happy smiled to himself. “I thought you would die young, but not like this.”

“How did you think I would die?”

“Oh, Rhodey and I had theories. Drowning in some floozy’s pool, drinking too much and falling off a balcony, forgetting how to fly your suit. The works. I would’ve preferred you to be alive, Tones, but if you had to die, this is a hell of a way for you to go.”

Tony nodded. “I can live with it, Hap. I can live with that. Would I love to be there? Yes, but… I’ll be just fine knowing that Morgan and Peter will grow up in a world without Thanos.”

“The bastard,” Happy muttered. “You know, after your… your funeral, I asked Morgan if she was hungry, and she asked for a cheeseburger.”

“That sounds familiar. I hope you got her all the cheeseburgers she wanted.”

“She put down two, plus four juice pops.”

“How did she get  _ four  _ juice pops?”

“She asked me, Pepper, and Peter separately.”

“She tricked Peter into giving her two juice pops.” Tony groaned and leaned back against the seat. “Happy, that kid’s going to give her diabetes. She’ll be running a juice pop empire.” 

Happy chuckled, wiping away tears again. “I’m going to take care of that little girl, you know,” he said. “Pepper’s a strong woman and is more than capable, but I’m going to do whatever they need. I’ll take care of Peter, too. Your family is going to be okay.”

“And you?” Tony whispered. 

Happy straightened his shoulders. “I miss you a lot. I won’t lie. But I’ll be okay.”

He quirked his lips to the side. “I know you will.”

“Resy easy, Tony,” Happy said. 

The car faded around him, and he was traveling

 

#

 

Tony landed in a random kitchen.

He didn’t recognize the layout, but judging from the giant  _ A  _ hanging from the back wall, he assumed it was the new Avengers compound. There were also portraits of him and Natasha hanging on either side of the  _ A.  _ His chest clenched. He wondered how real the sensation was. He wondered if he had organs as a ghost. He wondered who’d attended his funeral. 

Tony’s thoughts stopped when he saw Rhodey. His back was turned to Tony as he fixed a plate of food; his braces were secure around his legs. Tony closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Who would fix the braces when they weren’t functioning well?

He couldn’t think about that. Not now. 

“Just when you thought you’d get some peace.” Tony grinned as Rhodey’s plate dropped and shattered against the tile. “How you doing, Platypus?”

Rhodey gaped. “Tony?”

“The stones. Just for a few moments.” He looked around at kitchen. “Some place you have here. Complete with the pictures.” 

“We want to remember why we do what we do.” 

“For me? You have better reasons.” He chuckled, bowing his head. There was silence for a few beats before Tony asked, “So what happened? After?”

Rhodey drew a long breath. He looked out the window, biting his lip. 

“Steve carried you off the battlefield,” he finally said. “He insisted. You should’ve seen the look on his face. He wouldn’t let anyone besides us—well, me, Pepper, Peter—near. Nebula managed to get close. I wanted to carry you myself, but Pepper, the kid…” He trailed off, then nodded firmly. “I had other priorities. There was funeral planning, taking care of the will, the works. Pepper was fielding flowers and condolence cards like you’ve never seen. The world… the world’s mourning you. The galaxy, from what Nebula says.”

“Oh,” Tony said quietly. “I… I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Of course you weren’t. You were thinking about the people you loved.”

Rhodey was right. He’d thought of Happy, Rhodey, Peter, Pepper, Morgan. “How’s Peter taking it?” 

“Not well.” Rhodey sighed. “Morgan loves him. He dotes on that little girl. They met before the funeral, thank God, and she’s been attached since. The funeral was… it was difficult, I won’t lie, but well-attended. You were—are—well-loved.”

Tony was unable to speak.

_ Well-loved.  _

Of all the ways to go.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you,” Rhodey blurted. “Way back when it started.”

“That wouldn’t have been saving, Rhodey. That would’ve been preserving a man who would never be able to help the world. I couldn’t have become who I was without you.”

Rhodey gripped his shoulder. “I’m proud of you… and I love you, man. I should’ve said that more. I need you to know that.”

“I know, Rhodey. God, I know that.” Tony clenched his jaw, feeling his face crumpling. “I love you, too. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.” 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

“You’ll be just fine. You were doing good when I was off on my lake house.”

“But I knew you were… there.”

“Hey.” He rested his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m still…  _ here _ . Just not  _ here _ here. Out there. In the universe. All that cheesy stuff. Okay?”

Rhodey smiled at him. “Okay.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Once more, Tony fell away

_ Take me where I need to be.  _

 

#

 

Tony was in his home. 

He gasped. He never thought he’d see the quiet home he built with Pepper again. He’d accepted that. Being in their living room, among the soft lighting and sweeping windows, filled him with peace. Pepper and Morgan would always have this place, even if they didn’t have him. 

He followed the light down the hallway toward Morgan’s room. Her door was cracked open, wide enough for him to see his daughter tucked into bed and Pepper sitting atop the covers, running her hand through Morgan’s hair. 

“I want Daddy,” Morgan said. 

“We talked about this, baby girl.” Pepper’s voice was thick. “Daddy passed away. He can’t come home. He would if he could.”

“Can we visit him?”

“No, baby, we can’t. We would if we could. But he’s happy and watching you. He loves you so much. So, so much.” 

Tony leaned against the wall, Pepper and Morgan’s voices fading into fuzzy sounds. God. His baby. His wife. Morgan would grow up without a father; Pepper would live without a husband. It hurt fiercely. 

Pepper strode from the room; Tony stepped into an open closet. He couldn’t face her. Not yet. He stepped toward Morgan’s room. Going inside would only confuse her, perhaps upset her. He couldn’t do that, even if he wanted to. Looking would have to be enough. She laid on her side, dark hair falling over her closed eyes and her chest rose or fell steadily. If he could’ve cried, he would’ve. She clutched an Iron Man stuffed toy to her chest, nose burrowed into the helmet. She was so young. She wouldn’t remember this. She would barely remember the moments that meant everything to him. The people around her would. They would tell her who she was, and she would become her own woman. 

He turned from her room, shutting her door behind him, and walked down the hall. 

His world stopped.

Pepper sat on the edge of the couch, face in her hands. Her shoulders began to shake as she stifled her cries. She reached for something crumpled on the other cushion and pressed it to her chest. Tony’s heart sank. It was a shirt. One of  _ his  _ shirts.

He couldn’t take it any longer.

“Honey,” Tony said. 

Pepper leapt to her feet and stumbled, the shirt falling onto the couch. She gasped, pressing her hand over her mouth. “Oh, God.  _ Shit _ .” She fumbled in her pocket. “Gotta call Rhodey,  _ fucking  _ hallucinations.”

“Honey, no.” Tony surged forward and took Pepper’s hands. She stared at their intertwined fingers. “I’m here. Just for a few moments, though. Just for a few, because of the stones. I get to say goodbye.”  _ I get to hold you.  _

Pepper looked at him, lips slightly parted. Then, her face crumpled. She pressed her lips to his, and he kissed her desperately. He ran his hands over her body, taking in how she felt, how she smelled, how she trembled under his touch. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, touching their foreheads together. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“ _ Tony _ ,” she said. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

She pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. He turned his face to kiss her palm. “I know why you did it,” she whispered. “You wouldn’t be the man I loved if you didn’t.”

“Morgan…”

“Confused, but she’ll be okay. Everyone is looking out for her. God, she’ll have the Avengers on call when she’s older. Peter Parker alone.” Her brow wrinkled. “Did you visit him?”

“He’s the next stop.”

“Good, he needs to see you.” She smiled. He would remember her expression no matter where the universe took him; her smile would carry him home. “I meant what I said, Tony. We’ll be just fine. You rest.”

“I love you,” he whispered. He said it again. Again. Again. He pressed Pepper to him, memorizing how she felt in his arms until he felt his body fading. 

 

#

 

He found himself in Peter’s bedroom. 

The Spider-Man suit was flung carelessly into the closet, half-covered by the door. Peter laid curled up on his bed, his phone cupped in his hands. Tony moved closer. Peter was watching a video. With a jolt, he realized what it was—the “documentary” Peter made after going to Germany. Tony steeled himself.

“Peter,” Tony said hoarsely. “Hey, kid.”

Peter leapt to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. His eyes flickered over Tony, filling with tears. He didn’t move, didn’t try to approach him. 

“You’re scaring me,” Tony whispered. “Say something, Pete. I need to hear your voice.”

Peter fell to his knees and began to sob. 

“Oh, Peter,” Tony said. 

Peter buried his face in his hands, shoulders trembling and chest heaving. Tony knelt next to him and cupped Peter’s face in his shimmering hands. When Peter looked up at him, his eyes were red-ringed and swollen, lips quivered. Tony pulled him to his chest, wishing he felt more solid, wishing he was  _ there.  _ That he could say and be a part of Peter’s life. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“You  _ died _ ,” Peter cried. “You’re gone, we buried you, I’m imagining—”

“I’m here.” Tony winced, heart aching, as Peter cried harder. “Hey, look, Underoos, let me talk, and listen. The universe gave me a second chance to say goodbye. Can we do that? Can I tell you some things?”

Peter took a ragged breath. “Yeah. Yeah, yeah let’s do that.” 

“Okay, good. Good.” He pulled away. “How you holding up? You meet Morgan? I told her all about you, so she should think you’re her brother. You basically are. Pep wants you there for family dinners. You have to tell her stories about me. The good and the bad.”

“She has your eyes.”

“I know, doesn’t she? She also has my intelligence, so look out for her. Make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble.” 

“I will.” There was a long, loaded silence. Then, Peter blurted, “I miss you.” He bit his lip. “There’s a hole in my heart, Mr. Stark. I can feel it. Every day, my chest and stomach hurt, and I can’t eat. That’s how much I miss you. We won, but it doesn’t feel like it.” 

Tony couldn’t speak. He pulled Peter closer, a phantom ache in his heart. Peter cried against his shoulder, sounding so much like a lost child that Tony wanted to do whatever he could to protect him forever. He rocked them, held him like he wish he had when he was alive. They stayed like that for a long time without speaking.

“You did so much for me,” Peter finally whispered. “I don’t know what I did for you.”

“You made me believe I could be a good father. Do you know what a gift that was? What a gift you are?” Tony ran his hands through Peter’s curls, then kissed his forehead. “My Peter. My wonderful boy. You can survive this. If you can survive me being this sentimental, you can survive anything. You will make the world a better place. Okay?”

Tears fell over Peter’s face. “Tony…”

“I need you here. You gotta look out for Morgan, and you gotta look out for yourself. Remember that I love you. Now and always.”

“Is this the last time I’ll see you?”

“Yeah, kiddo. I’m afraid so.”

Peter smiled, eyes watery. “Thank you, then. For everything you did for me. I love you.” He leaned his head on Tony’s shoulder. “How long will you stay?”

Somehow, Tony managed to lift Peter into his arms and cradle him to his chest before laying him on the bed. “I’ll be here until you fall asleep. I love you a ton.” 

“I love you more,” Peter mumbled, eyes already sliding close. “I don’t want to fall asleep.”

“We all have to, buddy.” 

“I’m always going to miss you.”

“That’s okay. Miss me all you want. One day, though, Pete, it won’t hurt as bad.” 

Tony watched as Peter rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets close to his chest. His heart felt full. Peter would take care of Morgan—and eventually, he would be okay himself. He would be alive and change the world.

As Peter’s breath evened, the bedroom faded around Tony.

_ This is it, _ he thought.  _ I did what I needed to do.  _

 

#

 

The water pooled around his ankles. Yinsen stood before him. Tony felt peace settle over him, but also another sensation. Doubt. Grief. Something else entirely. 

“Are you ready, now?” Yinsen asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Tony said. 

“Please know this. The universe will memorialize you and your actions. Your wife and daughter will live peaceful lives and think of you often. Your son will grieve, but he will become a good man and love you for as long as he lives. Your friends will live in a way that honors your memory. You will be remembered as a hero, Tony. That will be your legacy.”

He thought of Happy, of Rhodey. He thought of Peter’s strength and resolve. He thought of Pepper,  _ his  _ Pepper, his beautiful wife, and Morgan, the best thing he’d left behind. They would grow. They would live. They would, one day, be happy. 

And he would have peace knowing that. 

“Okay.” He exhaled and nodded. “I’m ready.”

Yinsen faded. Tony closed his weary eyes. A easy as falling asleep, or a light burning out for the final time, he joined the universe. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more of me crying about Tony, follow me on tumblr @such-geekiness


End file.
